dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
