We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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