When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
