Princesses don't give blow jobs
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
