Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
ok first of all what the fuck
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
