A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
