then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
