I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
