I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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