Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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