Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
