"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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