I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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