my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
