I bet he comes in French.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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