I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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