Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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