if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
