So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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