Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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