I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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