at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
