We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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