mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
