Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
