i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
