I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
