do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
