Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
