ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I am naked and annoyed.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
