My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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