rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
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