Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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