I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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