Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
