honey bunches of taint.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
