last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
