So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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