get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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