now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You made out with two different species that night
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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