im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
