I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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