You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
