Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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