I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
