i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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