Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
