I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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