i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
