Im at strip club and am horny
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
