You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
