My room smells like vodka and shame
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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